little accountability poem

not to quote hamilton but i am indeed the one thing in life i can control...

yeah, i fucked up.

i fucked up and i am not going to get closure because i all am in control of is the sincerity of my apology. i am not entitled to a response and i certainly am not owed forgiveness.

i was not acting in alignment with my values and i have to deal with the stomachache that accompanies that fact.

i made the wrong choice and people were hurt and i can’t do anything about what has already happened.

i can only promise to not make the same mistake twice.

i know i will make other different mistakes in the future but i hope they are different

I am not blameless

but i am also not a victim

i am a human

and am admitting that i fucking fucked up

and yeah, i’m also injured, maybe even irreparably damaged

but i can’t just bleed out

giving up is not an option

and sometimes you have to disinfect your own wounds

and just brace yourself for the sting.